I was restless, and aflutter.
As a formerly docile creature, I had found myself amidst a revolution of epic proportions.
I had somehow lost my sense of foreboding, and somewhere along the line, a fearless lion-hearted woman had slipped into my skin.
I was feeling sassy, and brave, and completely out of my depth.
Something had awakened within. Something that had “danger” as its middle name…
Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’m no stranger to living on the edge.
I mean, I’ve jay walked…
I’ve torn tags off of mattresses that clearly read “DO NOT REMOVE”.
I’ve been a risk taker.
I’ve worn Crocs when NO ONE thought it was a good idea.
I’ve done some pretty crazy things in my day.
There were even times when I would return videotapes to Blockbuster without even rewinding them….on purpose.
Oh yeah. I was a rebel. A wildcard. A renegade.
Throwing caution to the wind back in the day resulted in me wearing white after Labor Day, on several occasions, and not caring who saw me.
I have tasted the thrill of being an outlaw running afoul of the fashion police.
Common sense, and sensible shoes be damned!
Sometimes, when the door would say ‘pull’ …I would push…and I would push hard.
I didn’t care. I was oblivious to the consequences. I can’t tell you how many times I blatantly ignored the easy way, and did things the hard way- for absolutely no reason whatsoever.
Now I had upped the ante, and literally flung myself off the deep end into some pretty wild adventures.
I had taken it to the next level.
It was officially official…I had a bad case of the zoomies.
I had first learned of the zoomies while observing my cat Fiona. She’s a house cat, and does not venture outside.
She goes through these crazed bursts of energy where she sporadically races around the house as if her tail is on fire. She would run from room to room for no apparent reason, and pace around the house with the restlessness of a caged jungle cat.
Sometime she would be sitting quietly, and then, all of a sudden, for no reason, she would take off like a bat out of Hell, as if she had just received some important message that she urgently needed to be in another part of the house…RIGHT NOW!!!
One day, after observing her crazed outburst, my son said, “It looks like she’s got the zoomies”.
I looked it up.
Apparently, it’s a thing.
It’s a condition coined to explain the erratic behavior displayed from a build-up of restless excess energy that is stored, and resulting in an overflow that needs to be burned off.
Frenetic Random Activity Periods, which basically means, it’s hard to sit still.
It generally applies to pets, but I believe , it can apply to people as well.
It just made sense.
I had sequestered myself for so many years on my couch, that once I finally shook things up, nothing settled quite the same again.
I had changed the game, and now I didn’t want to sit on the sidelines anymore, I wanted to be out on the field.
About halfway through my weight loss journey I started to notice the changes.
I could feel myself pacing while waiting for my turn at the bowling alley. I was dancing around at the grocery store, or in line at the bank. If I had a day where I didn’t get to go out and hit the trail, I would find myself walking in figure eights in my living room.
I had ants in my pants.
I had an itch to be out there drinking it all in with giant gulps.
It was hard for me to sit still, and I wanted to do everything-all at once.
All of that new energy had to go somewhere, and now that I was full of it (no pun intended), I felt like I always had to keep moving.
I was an object in constant motion.
This state of being had resulted in something I refer to as the “the Geronimo effect”. Meaning, no matter what it was, I was “all in”. I was jumping out of the plane yelling “Geronimo!”. And instead of testing the waters with my toe first, I was diving in headfirst into the abyss.
It was an activity avalanche.
The hiking, the biking, the paddle boarding, the whitewater rafting, the zip lining, the skydiving…just to name a few.
I had thrown myself into so many things over the last two years, that I could hardly digest and appreciate all of the individual experiences. It seemed that the zoomies had somehow released my inner daredevil. And now I was on “go mode” 24/7.
I was jumping out of my skin to check off everything on my list.
For the last couple of years I have felt like I was trying to make up for lost time. Like I had to feverishly cram it all in, in order to simultaneously live all of the life I had missed out on during those decades while sitting on my couch.
It was as if all of that excess restless energy was exploding out of my fingertips and propelling me towards anything and everything.
But I needed to slow down.
I desperately needed to pace myself.
I had to pull back the reins and slow down from a full gallop to a respectable gait in an attempt to enjoy the ride without the risk of being thrown off the horse.
Because, you can’t go on like that forever, or you will crash and burn.
It’s taken a while for me to find the throttle and learn to steady the climb.
The zoomies are a good thing. But it’s also a thing that needs to be managed.
I needed to find a balance in order to maintain and not burn out.
Because after all, that’s what maintenance is…
A blissful balance that allows you to live your life to the fullest while at the same time embracing the peace you have created within yourself.
Learning to achieve an equilibrium for the long haul.
The zoomies are what keeps you moving forward, and experiencing all of the things that you may have denied yourself while you were waiting on the sidelines. But they can also push you into moving too fast and upsetting the apple cart.
And now I have learned, that having the zoomies doesn’t mean I have to constantly try to make up for lost time.
It just means, that I have to not allow any more time, to pass me by.
I need to remind myself, that in between, I have to stop and remember to breathe.
Because there will be some days, where I might be holding my breath, in anticipation.
And there will be others, with moments, that will take my breath away.
And since the rest of my life is going to be lived in a state of maintenance-
I have to learn to “maintain” a balance, that allows me to really live.
I have to live my life each day with an appreciation that the reason I did all of this hard work, is so I can live for today knowing I have earned a tomorrow full of more adventures.
Who knows, tomorrow I might go for the trifecta. Maybe I will jay walk to the library while recklessly wearing prints that clash, and once inside, I may not keep even my voice to a whisper.
I might go swimming after eating and not wait a full 30 minutes.
Yeah, you read that right. I am on the loose, and there is no telling what I may do.
But whatever shenanigans await me…I know, that I will be present, in the moment, and “all in”, 100%.
Because I have the zoomies, and I live on the edge…
And, the cat and I both need to be in the upstairs hallway in 13 seconds.