The Time Traveler

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What would I say to her?

If I could go back in time, and thank her, for getting me here…

What would I say?

What COULD I possibly say, that would be enough?

I’d often wondered.

Four years ago in Philadelphia, I sat on a bed in my hotel room looking at my foot.

It was infected.

The small spot that had been rubbed raw by my “too tight” sandals had gone from a minor abrasion to an open wound in a matter of days.

As a diabetic, I knew it was a cellulitis infection, and I was in need of antibiotics. We were at least a week away from the end of our vacation, and I knew it couldn’t wait.

We had just attended my cousin’s wedding a few days earlier, where I had worn the “unfortunate shoes”. I sat looking at my foot, avoiding the inevitable.

I was so mad at my body.

It felt like it was punishing me.

The diabetes had already forced me to give myself injections every day, and now to add insult injury, a small simple cut was about to turn into an unplanned trip to the emergency room.

We had even asked the hotel for a room on the bottom floor, because I could barely get up a flight of stairs on my own, let alone with all my luggage.

At every turn I felt like my body was at odds with me, like it was on a revolt. It was as if I was waiting for an avalanche to bury me…

Looking back now, I wish I could get in a time machine, and send myself back to that day, and knock on the door of the hotel where that version of myself sat agonizing over her circumstances.

I wish she could meet me now, four years later, and know that it was going to be the last year she would ever feel that way.

I wish she could know then, what I know now, in regards to what she was capable of.

I wish she could see all the photos I have taken in the last four years, and hear about all of the things we have done together, her and I.

I would want her to know that everything we went through was worth it. Even the things we survived to get to our breaking point, were the very things that made us into the woman that we have become.

I would hug her, and thank her for what she was about to do…for us.

I would tell her, that she saved our life.

I want her to know all of it.

And, knowing what I know now, of all of the things that I would want to tell her on that day-

The one I believe to be the most important is this…

Once you finally come to that place where you think you are facing the end of the road-

Stop, and look around you-

Because, that is where you will find the strength that you require, to continue to forge ahead, and begin to pave a new one.

10 thoughts on “The Time Traveler

    1. My Diabetes. I started to see my my medical issues reversing, and I knew I had to finish what I started. Yes, it was the hardest thing I ever did that I have never regretted, not for one minute.

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  1. YOU ARE AN AMAZING WOMAN.
    You have paved a new life for yourself and with your story you are helping me and others pave a different one for ourselves.
    I love reading your stories, where I can also see myself and know that this journey of a lifetime is possible and a very needed and welcomed one.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Tears. Thank you. I feel like that message to your old self was talking to me. Here at day two, feeling desperate, hopeful, determined… to dig myself out of this hole. I’ve spent the last 3 years trying to adjust to being “big”. And it’s not for me. I can’t feel proud of myself if I’m giving up on my body. I am so hopeful I can emulate your success until I actually have some of my own. I think I needed a good cry this morning to remind me how important this new path is to me. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thanks for inspiring me today. I was doing well losing weight and walking a year ago and got to almost a 15 pound loss before backsliding and staying at an 8 pound mark. I too am diabetic but 65 and have a husband with advanced cancer. Its hard to balance everything including helpung his 90 year old mother several times a week. I’m going to start over today and try to recapture the dedication I had when I first started.

    Liked by 1 person

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