Me, fighting with myself about everything.
Every decision was up for negotiation.
Every boundary was ripe for a breach.
I was indecisive.
I knew this about myself, and yet sometimes I would still need the reminder.
Some days it was easy to be strong, because some days I didn’t want ice cream at all. But other days?
Other days, it was all I could think about.
And it was on those days that the conversation would go like this:
-No. (Very firmly stated)
-Well….maybe just a bite.
-Ok, yes, but just a single serving.
-I will stop when I’m full.
-I can’t stop. (Why can’t I stop?)
-I’ll start again tomorrow.
-Why didn’t I just say no? (oh wait, I did)
-Why did I not follow through when I first said no? (I wish I knew)
-Tomorrow I will say no (and follow through)
****and repeat from top****
But I was never specific about how I was going to achieve that. I never set a well thought out plan in place to facilitate that outcome. I invariably left myself twisting in the wind with a destination, and no route mapped out to get me there.
And I found out that if I gave myself an inch, I would take a mile.
I needed to stop treating what needed to be done as “optional”. Continue reading The Directive