Tag Archives: Weight Watchers

The Directive


It was like my own version of Fight Club.

Me, fighting with myself about everything.

Every decision was up for negotiation.

Every boundary was ripe for a breach.

I was indecisive.

I knew this about myself, and yet sometimes I would still need the reminder.

Some days it was easy to be strong, because some days I didn’t want ice cream at all. But other days?

Other days, it was all I could think about.

And it was on those days that the conversation would go like this:

-No. (Very firmly stated)

-Well….maybe just a bite.

-Ok, yes, but just a single serving.

-I will stop when I’m full.

-I can’t stop. (Why can’t I stop?)

-I’ll start again tomorrow.

-Why didn’t I just say no? (oh wait, I did)

-Why did I not follow through when I first said no? (I wish I knew)

-Tomorrow I will say no (and follow through)

****and repeat from top****

But I was never specific about how I was going to achieve that. I never set a well thought out plan in place to facilitate that outcome. I invariably left myself twisting in the wind with a destination, and no route mapped out to get me there.

And I found out that if I gave myself an inch, I would take a mile.

I needed to stop treating what needed to be done as “optional”. Continue reading The Directive

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The Maid in the Mist


Niagara Falls.

I had always wanted to see it for myself.

Several years ago, while visiting the East Coast and getting ready to leave Baltimore, we found that on our way to Philadelphia we still had three days before we were expected at a family get together.

So we sat in the parking lot of the Civil War Memorial near Antietam Maryland and tried to decide where we would go.

The Captain and I have long since practiced a little something we call accidental tourism, where we will just randomly pick a direction or destination and head out without so much as a reservation and the fervent hope of seeing where the adventure will take us. 

So we started looking at the map and trying to decide which direction we would head.

And there I was, waiting for some kind of sign from the universe, when a delivery truck drove by with the logo for Tim Hortons donuts emblazoned on the side.

*cue slo-mo montage…

It was like that moment when the clouds part, and a ray of sunshine breaks through to a chorus of euphoric accolades.

What? We love Tim Hortons! I did not even know that they had stores in the US, I thought they only had them in Canada! Living in Washington State, we were frequent visitors to Vancouver B.C on the western side of Canada, and sometimes we would even go across the border just for a coffee and donut run. Lemon crullers for me and apple fritters for The Captain. And then, we always got a box of assorted TimBits donut holes with a few extra cherry chip ones for the road.

This might be a game changer.

I started feverishly looking on my phone for the nearest Tim Hortons, and found that in upstate New York they had one in Buffalo.

It was decided. We would be heading north.

I looked at the map. I had wanted to see the eastern side of Canada, and I had always heard about how beautiful upstate New York was.

Done. Let’s go.

And then I spotted it. Right there on the border… Niagara Falls.

And as it so happens, that one was on my bucket list. Continue reading The Maid in the Mist

What Happens in Vegas…


You know the scenario.

The all-you-can-eat-buffet binge hangover scenario.

The one where you wake up face down in the carpet asking, “What the hell happened last night, and why am I holding a half eaten turkey leg?”

I tried to focus on the light coming in from the hallway that was flooding in from under the crack at the bottom of the door.

I blinked my eyes a few times to bring everything into focus.

I had been awoken by the hum of a vacuum cleaner and with a strange taste in my mouth.

The room was dark, and my head was spinning.

I sat up and looked around, and I noticed that there were a handful of tiny hotel soaps scattered about.

I was alone. Thank goodness.

I’ve seen enough movies to know that I could have woken up to any number of embarrassing predicaments, including a most regrettable encounter with an angry monkey in the bathroom wearing a shower cap and pelting me with hotel soaps.

I checked the bathroom. No monkey, but the soap said Caesars Palace…

The buffet. I remember a buffet.

I wiped my face.

Was that blood? Oh my gawd, was I bleeding?
Oh, wait…

Nope. It tasted like barbecue sauce.

What the hell had happened last night?

One minute you’re having a few cocktails, and headed to an all you can eat buffet, and the next….you’re waking up from a all night binge covered in hot mustard, with indigestion and a death grip on giant turkey leg.

The last thing you may remember was trying to plot out your strategy, to decide if you needed one plate or two, and figure out if you could discreetly tuck the extra pork chop under your arm while you put the gravy on your mashed potatoes…. Continue reading What Happens in Vegas…

The Care and Feeding of My Fitbit


There is a monkey on my wrist.

And its called a Fitbit.

I have owned a Fitbit for a little over a year now, and sometimes, I wonder, if I actually own it, or if it really owns me.

Its kind of a symbiotic relationship.

Yes, I said relationship.

Because it has ceased to be a “thing” in my life, and become my technology created companion, a virtual cheerleader, and a finger wagging busybody. 

It is an all around ever aware conscience that follows me EVERYWHERE, and… I feel grateful.

What???

Yes, grateful.

It holds me accountable, and nudges me to push a little bit harder. It gives me a competitive edge, and for that, I am grateful.

But, as a byproduct, it has irrevocably changed my life, and the way I live it.

Gone are the couch potato days of yore, when I could sit quite happily for hours.

Gone is my urge to sit in a waiting room, or park close to the mall entrance.

Adios to seeing the world from a stationary vantage point, and hello to “let’s walk, I need my steps anyway”.

Back in the day, when I was 25, I was going out to clubs in my mini skirt, happily drinking wine coolers, and anticipating the impending alcohol induced “buzz” that was to follow.

And now? Continue reading The Care and Feeding of My Fitbit

574 Days After Day One

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The story continues…

Once Day One had come and gone, I was terrified that failure was inevitable.

That first week was a big wake up call, and I knew that I that I needed to pace myself.

Because, after my initial nosh fest with the Weight Watchers food on Day One, I had returned the following week, to discover that I had actually gained 1.2 pounds.

Seriously?? I wanted to give up.

My Day 8 was 282.2 lbs.

It all felt so hopeless.

But I tried to to stay the course, and I decided that I needed to once again make a list of all of my reasons not to throw in the towel.

I then faithfully continued to drive to all of my meetings for the next several weeks…

But I never went in.

I just couldn’t.

I just sat in my car, hiding in the parking lot, crying, angry with myself, and trying to work up the nerve to walk back inside.

A couple of times I had even stopped at the McDonald’s drive-thru on the way to the meeting, with the mindset, that since I probably wasn’t going in anyway, it didn’t really matter whether or not I ate the Sausage McMuffin and the hashbrown. (Okay, so there MIGHT have originally been TWO Sausage McMuffins and TWO hashbrowns in the bag, and some of it MIGHT have (hypothetically) never made it all the way to the parking lot)

I just couldn’t bring myself to go in there, and see yet another higher number on the scale.

So I just figured, that sooner or later, when I got tired of beating myself up and feeling bad, I would gain control of my downward spiral, get myself together, and actually walk back in.

And then, it finally came to me-

A divine moment of clarity disguised in a fast food wrapper…

While nibbling small bites of a hash brown, I remembered what my mom used to say about how to eat an elephant…one bite at a time, right?

Strange phrase, but the message was there. I paused …

I needed smaller goals.

Yes! I just needed something I could wrap my brain around …

Something that didn’t make me feel like I was going to have to climb Mt Everest with nothing but two forks and a shoelace… Continue reading 574 Days After Day One

Day One

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It all starts with Day One.

Day One is hopeful-

Day One is brave-

And Day One is the metaphorical line in the sand.

It’s the day that we finally protest, “Enough is enough”, and declare “I want more!”

It’s the crusade of a Warrior headed into an epic showdown for all the marbles.

When we come to the place where we cannot march forward without taking decisive action-

It’s the battle cry of the weary,  and it echoes,”I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired, and I’m ready for a change!”

We raise our collective fists to the gods of circumstance and shout, “Let’s do this!”, with all of the motivation and good intentions that we can muster.

It’s the day that we put our foot down with purpose, and then silently ask, “What the French toast have I gotten myself into?”

Because, let’s face it, Day One is a gigantic leap of faith.

It’s a promise that we make to ourselves to make better choices and continue to follow through.

Day One carries with it a crucial mindset that you have to hold onto, even after the initial Day One has passed.

It’s a turning point, a fork in the road, and a new beginning.

The essence and spirit of which needs to be renewed for each and every subsequent day that comes in its wake.

It is the first step on an arduous journey that challenges both your body and your mind.

Its the stirrings of a fierce determination to wrestle a beast of burden and bring balance back into the fold.

And it’s the deep breath that you take before you dive headfirst into the unknown.

Day One is the very origin of greatness,

And Day One is where it all begins….

My Day One was a chilly overcast morning in October of 2012.

I remember sitting in the parking lot giving myself a well rehearsed pep talk. Continue reading Day One

The Captain’s Wench

My fiancé is a boat Captain.

He currently works out of the gulf of Mexico, but over the years, he has worked in many ports including Alaska, Trinidad, and many different countries in Africa.

During the time at which my weight loss journey began, he had been working out of East Africa for about a year. While working overseas, he was on a schedule that had him abroad for 3 to 4 months at a time, and then home for one month.

I joined Weight Watchers during a time when he had just left Continue reading The Captain’s Wench

My Life as a Ninja

Weight Watchers has irrevocably changed my life.

I do not look at anything the same way that I used to…….. especially food.

Some things just have the power to take over your mindset, and permanently replace a former way of thinking.

Once I became a Weight Watcher, and food turned into points, the game had begun. It was a challenge that every day, I wholeheartedly accepted. An invisible contract with myself, to eat within the confines of my given points, and to strive to meet all of my Continue reading My Life as a Ninja