One size does not fit all.
Whomever decided that particular description was an accurate size determination, was clearly never a size that was more ample than the norm.
Over the years, I had grown wary of the one- size-fits-all label, because when you don’t even fit into a one-size-fits-all, you begin to question whether or not there is some alternate subspecies outside of “all” that you fall into.
Like one size fits everyone… but me.
I had worked really hard towards earning my Design degree during the three years that I spent going back to college after my divorce. I had thrown myself into my college education with 100% of my effort. And now I was graduating with honors and distinction, and finally getting my much sought after, formerly elusive, college degree.
Initially, I had gone to college right out of high school up in northern Arizona with the idea of becoming a nurse. But after being out on my own and deciding that nursing school was not for me, I had spent the rest of that first year aimless and floundering, with no direction or course of study. I had partied a little bit too much, and pushed the limits of my self-discipline (or lack there of) to the point to where, after only a year, I had given up, dropped out, and moved back home to “find myself”.
But all I found, it seems, was a part-time job at Jack-in-the-Box, and a whole lot of yearning for something more.
I eventually ran away to the beach in California to follow my bliss, and left my college aspirations in the dust.
Life happened, and after a while, I just forgot about my foray into higher education, and accepted my current circumstances as “a choice that I had made”.
After that, I got married, had two children, and worked as a nanny, a barista, and as a video store employee for minimum wage.
I made due.
It wasn’t until I got divorced, and became a single parent, that I realized that I really needed a college degree in order to give myself the best chance possible to provide for my two little boys. My job at Starbucks was not enough to build the life for us that I had wanted.
So I packed up my pride, transferred my job, and moved back to my childhood home in Arizona. Into my old bedroom, where my Scott Baio posters still hung on the closet door, in the hopes that my parents would help me to get back on my feet, and also, so that I could return to school to finish what I started so many years before.
During those three years back in Arizona after my divorce, my weight went up to my highest on record of 293 pounds.
Those were three very stressful and difficult years while simultaneously juggling single parenthood, work, and school… but I did it.
I worked really hard, and surpassed all of the expectations that I had for myself academically.
But still, here I was, on the verge of graduation, staring at a box that held my cap and gown, and my Phi Theta Kappa sashes, and feeling nothing but dread when I noticed the tag on the commencement gown…
My heart sank.
I hadn’t tried it on yet, but it made me nervous, and here we were, on the very day of graduation.
I started to feel uneasy.
I pulled out and looked at it. It looked big enough, so I began to put it on…
But alas, it did not fit. Continue reading Plump and Circumstance